The Bottom Of The Lake
by Wings Of Sanguine
Summary: On a vacation trip, Gwen, Arthur and the knights discover a scar on Merlin's arm. After Merlin storms off, Gwen follows to investigate. After learning of Gwen's discovery, the group is forced to rethink their views on friendship, magic, and most of all, Merlin. DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN MERLIN OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS
1. Chapter 1

Gwen knew that Merlin liked to keep to himself for the most part. She knew that he was goofy and light-hearted and all around just a fun-loving guy, but there was something odd about him, there was no denying it. Even Arthur had pointed it out, as well as Gwaine, amongst the knights. For the life of them, they could never figure out what it was, but each time they saw the young man, it seemed he was weighted down by some invisible force, unwilling to open up and let people lighten his load.

It had started, she noticed, after the whole incident with the escaped druid girl, the one Arthur told her had turned into a vicious beast at night to torment the towns, maybe eat some villagers. Gwen shivered as she remembered that night, staying with Gaius, trying to help any innocent villagers that had gotten hurt during the fight. Merlin, however, had been quiet as he went from person to person, trying to help as inconspicuously as possible.

 _Like now_ , Gwen thought, watching as Merlin tried fending off Gwaine, the knight placing the servant in a headlock. The lot of them- Merlin, Arthur, the knights and herself- had decided to take a day off from their duties, go on a picnic and have fun for a day. Elyan was sitting with Percival and Leon, trying to see who could catch grapes with their mouths; Elyan so far was winning, it looked. Gwen was sitting with Arthur, his arm woven around her waist as they rested in the grass.

"Really, I don't see why you girls like having flowers everywhere," Arthur complained as he picked at a crown of purple peonies resting in the woman's brown curls.

"Well, we girls don't understand why you guys enjoy fighting, so consider it a mutual feeling," Gwen teased, poking the sword the prince had resting at his hip, the blade gleaming menacingly in the sun. Arthur shrugged.

"When you're with these knights long enough," Arthur gestured to Gwaine and Merlin, as the two were closest to them, "you learn to stay on your guard." As if to elaborate such a statement, they watched as Gwaine backed away from Merlin, imitating the roar of a lion as he dared take a step towards the servant, who laughed, ready to sprint at any moment. Gwen rested her head on Arthur's shoulder, the fabric of his red shirt warm against her cheek. She liked seeing Merlin smiling, the laugh echoing in her ears.

She hadn't heard it in a while. Neither did Arthur, nor the others, as they lifted their heads toward the sound, making Merlin falter, clear his throat. Cocking his head, Arthur scoffed, "Did Merlin just _laugh_?"

"It would seem so," Gwen commented, meeting her brother's eye. He raised an eyebrow, jutting his chin in Merlin's direction. Gwen merely shrugged.

"I say we all have lunch, yeah?" Gwaine's voice rang through the meadow, and the knights all were suddenly huddling around Gwen and Arthur, Percival and Leon jabbing one another for more elbow room. Merlin weeded his way between Gwaine and Percival, ducking under the larger man's arm to secure his spot. Carefully, he grabbed the basket sitting in front of Gwen and began rationing the portions, careful to give Arthur his meal first, as was fit for the king. Gwen smiled as Merlin slid a plate towards her, piling it high with mashed potatoes, a sizzling leg of chicken and a healthy spoonful of gleaming orange carrots.

"Merlin, I can't eat all this," she protested, but Merlin ignored her, having moved on to serve the knights.

"A growing woman such as yourself needs strength, Gwen," Merlin finally said, placing the now empty basket in front of him. Gwen watched curiously as he piled the empty plates and utensils into the basket, rearranging himself so he was on his knees.

"Are you not going to eat?" she pointed out. Merlin seemed to freeze, faltering as he rolled up the blue sleeves of his shirt.

"Nah, I'm not really hungry," he tried shrugging off her comment. Before she could say anything more, Arthur chuckled, spewing bits of creamy potatoes from his mouth.

"Not hungry?" he teased, "Are you kidding?"

Merlin shook his head, "Not really, no. Why?"

There seemed to be a slight edge to his tone, but Gwen gave it away to being a bit skittish. Often when they went on patrols, bandits or sorcerers seemed to appear out of nowhere, so it was understandable. But then she realized that this wasn't a patrol. This was a day off from work, being able to spend time with her friends. No need to really worry.

"Because I distinctly remember you stealing my food a while back," Arthur called out, earning laughter from the knights. Gwen glowered, wiggling her fingers as she tried to figure out whether to punch the man she loved square in the jaw. Yes, she loved Arthur, but Merlin was often right in calling him a prat ninety-nine percent of the time.

"Well, he is skinny," Gwaine piped up, his large hand wrapping itself around Merlin's arm, the sleeve riding up to reveal a plane of pale skin, a bony wrist and-

"That's odd, mate," Gwaine scrunched up his face, "Where'd you get that?"

A long, thin mark wormed its way down Merlin's forearm, ending at the crook of his elbow.

A scar, Gwen realized, the skin slightly puckered at the ends, a faded red mark. Merlin jerked his arm away, pushing his sleeve back down. He screwed up his nose as he grabbed the basket of plates.

"I'm gonna go wash these," Merlin announced with finality, and Gwen turned to see him stalk down towards the river bank. She was never really sure why Arthur always chose to have a picnic by the river in the meadow; probably because it was easier on Merlin when he had chores after the meal.

"What was that about?" Arthur smirked, exchanging a glance with Gwaine. Gwen rolled her eyes, pushing herself up from her cross-legged position, pins and needles tingling in her legs as she quickly pecked Arthur on the cheek, walking towards the bed of the river.

"I'll go check on him," GWen called back to them, and she could see Merlin dump the basket unceremoniously on the ground, letting his knees buckle as he began his chores. Gwen never really thought it fair to have Merlin do all the chores Arthur required to be done. Arthur was a fully grown man, so why did he need to have someone help him dress? To make his bed?

Sometimes she really hated the social class system in Camelot.

"Merlin?" Gwen called to her thin friend, watching as he grabbed a dishcloth and began cleaning. His shoulders were slumped forward, and his face seemed contorted in some sort of pain.

Strange.

"Merlin…?" Gwen asked, softer this time, taking care to crouch next to her friend. His bare arms were shown off once more, and in the light, Gwen could see the scar quite clearly. It was an ugly thing, a slash of paint on a blank canvas. She noticed the slight tremble as his voice hitched, trying his best to get the plates clean.

"I'm sorry I snapped," Merlin said, "it wasn't her fault though."

Gwen let her curls fall in her face as she cocked her head, confused, "Her fault? Who gave you that scar?" Merlin licked his lips, glancing at the old wound before sighing heavily. He ignored the dishes, letting the ones that were already wet sit out to dry, leaving the rest in the basket.

"I was in love with her, Gwen," Merlin seemed close to tears, "I promised her I'd protect her-"

"Oh, Merlin…." Gwen breathed, sliding an arm around his shoulder. He seemed, as she rubbed his back in circular motions, smaller than he was, like he was a paper crane folding its wings. Hiding from prying eyes. Even as he made semi-successful attempts to hold back his tears, he looked ready to toss himself in the lake at that moment.

Merlin, she learned, had taken a certain liking to lakes. Why, she wasn't exactly sure, but she always assumed that it gave him a sense of calm, a moment of tranquility in the life that was thrust upon him. With Arthur, you never knew what to expect.

Apparently the same could be said for Merlin.

"I was with her every night when she was in Camelot," Merlin went on to explain, "Freya hated being alone in the dark."

"Freya?" Gwen asked with a smile, "Is that her name?" Merlin nodded.

"Yeah," Merlin said, "Freya… she was everything I could have asked for. She understood me, Gwen, more, I think, than anyone else could-"

"You were in love, Merlin," Gwen giggled, "it's to be expected, something of that notion."

"She was so beautiful, Gwen," Merlin was shaking again, biting his lower lip so hard Gwen thought he might bleed. His blue eyes were as watery as the lake, threatening to run over at any moment, to drown everyone in the general vicinity of their waves.

"She sounds it," Gwen said, eyeing Merlin's scar, "still doesn't explain how she gave you that though." Merlin raised an eyebrow at her and she caught herself, the words tumbling forth, "Of course, you pro- I didn't mean to-"

"Gwen, it's alright," a tiny chuckle set Gwen at ease, "what happened with Freya, she, uh, she scratched me when I bought her dinner one night."

"Oh, how romantic," Gwen teased, "you made her dinner?" At this, Merlin blushed.

"Actually, I _was_ stealing Arthur's food- but _don't_ tell him I told you!" Merlin was quick to ascertain, Gwen shaking her head. It was sweet, that Merlin would steal food for a woman he loved-

Then it struck her. Why would he feel the need to steal Arthur's food instead of just asking the cook for something? _Unless_ , she thought, _Arthur didn't know…_ Glancing at Merlin, she let her thoughts churn.

Melin had been stealing food for this Freya.

Freya and Merlin were in love.

Freya also gave Merlin his scar.

Arthur didn't know.

Gwen tried to recall all the times she had seen Merlin during that time- when Arthur would complain to her about his missing breakfasts or lunches. He was scarce in the castle for some time, but he always looked happier than usual. And then that horrid search had happened. She remembered it quite clearly, the knights all looking for an escaped druid girl. Merlin always was quick to help in those searches, but like the knights, turned up with no sign of having seen a girl. And then, then the Bestat had been tormenting the citizens of Camelot _on top of that_ , and Gwen could picture the ugly cat-like creature flying around. There had been so much blood spilled that week, and once Arthur had vanquished it (with Merlin's help, as the two were like peas in a pod), Camelot had thrown a feast. Merlin had missed about an hour of it due to injury from the monster. For the next month, the servant had been mopey, shirking on his duties and visiting the lake with Gwaine whenever he got the chance.

"Um, Merlin?" Gwen regretted that her voice squeaked, "I'm going to go back to the camp, join me when you're done?"

She was thankful that Merlin was so lost in thought, staring out forlornly at the lake's glassy surface, so he couldn't see the panic in her eyes. There was no way to believe such a thing, she didn't even want to entertain the idea. But Merlin had told her clear as day.

His scar- the one Freya had given him- came from the heart, and Arthur and the knights had caused him an immense amount of pain and suffering, no matter what the servant said otherwise.


	2. Chapter 2

Percival was surprised to see Gwen run back to the picnic blanket with such ferocity, her beautiful brown eyes brimming with tears as she plopped herself down next to Arthur, resting her head on his shoulder. She used the prince's shirt as a hanky, blowing her nose loudly.

"Guinevere, what's wrong?" Arthur asked quietly, allowing her to bury her face momentarily in his shoulder.

"Sorry, Arthur, it's just…." she cast her eyes at the lake, and it clicked in Percival's mind.

Merlin.

"Did he do something to you?" Arthur was automatically defensive. Sure, Arthur and Merlin were friends- best friends, although the two would never admit it- but Arthur was a pain to deal with sometimes when it came to Guinevere. Percival remembered the long nights spent with him and the other knights at the tavern, and all he spoke of was how beautiful Guinevere was, how smart Guinevere was.

It was the same when he was drunk, courtesy of Gwaine providing mead.

But hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Or a man's heart broken. That much Percival knew. Scratching at his head, he asked, "Was it about the scar he had?" Percival hadn't liked looking at it, and he could tell the knights didn't either. To them, Merlin was a brother. Merlin was full of happiness and there was no shortage of smiles when you were with him. In fact, it was all you could ever do around him, smiling. It was infectious.

Gwen nodded, "Yeah. I asked him about it, and… Arthur, it's so sad."

 _Sad?_ Percival thought as he watched Gwen compose herself, wiped her eyes free of any tears that escaped. Sad didn't sound like Merlin. There was no way. Next to him, Gwaine cleared his throat, shaking his shaggy brown hair out of his eyes. Percival sometimes joined Elyan into teasing Gwaine to cut his hair, but there was no use, as Gwaine liked feeling the wind tug at the strands. It gave him a sense of confidence, and Percival wasn't about to take that away.

"So what's the story, love?" Gwaine grinned as Arthur rolled his eyes, Gwen hiccupping, placing a delicate hand to her throat. The sun, Percival thought, made her curls shine, rays of light dancing in the chocolate strands. He leaned forward with Gwaine, who had an expectant grin on his face.

"Freya," was all Gwen said, her eyes wide with confusion. The look reminded Percival of a lost dog, one he would wrap up in his arms and take home, to care for and feed. Her eyes searched her friends for answers, anything to stop the pain.

Was pain the right description for the look she was giving them, though?

Percival thought it looked more like pity.

"Who's Freya?" Gwaine broke through Percival's thoughts, "a pretty friend of yours?"

Gwen shrugged, "I never knew her. Merlin said they were in love, though."

This earned a chortle from Arthur, including a knee-slap. It rang throughout the meadow, rattling Percival's bones. Birds flew from their nests in a nearby tree, and Percival had to squint as they made a flying formation, blotting out the sun momentarily. Elyan and Leon only glared, Gwaine raising an eyebrow as Arthur' laughter faltered, "Oh, come _on_! _Really_?"

"Is it that hard to believe?" Leon asked, stroking his beard. It had gotten longer in the past few months, matching the curls of his hair. Percival never thought he would grow a beard himself; they seemed to get in the way of food, and looked particularly itchy.

"Frankly, yes!" Arthur retorted, "Merlin's my _servant_! When does he have time to be traipsing about with girls?"

"Arthur, you realize he does have a life outside of waiting on you hand and foot," was Leon's reply as he ate his food. Evidence of a beard being an annoyance was confirmed as a glop of mashed potato caught the curls on Leon's chin.

"Well, I suppose-"

"You suppose? What do you think when he's done working he just sits at home and does nothing until morning?" Leon joked. Shaking his head, Arthur tried to retaliate, " _No_. Obviously he has his life in Ealdor, it's just he never opens up to anyone here, so I just _assumed_ -"

Percival realized that it was true. No matter how much the others shared, Merlin was always careful, hanging back as if held by some invisible thread. It didn't help that he was also clumsy with his words, syllables and vowels threatening to choke him as he tried to, say, talk his way out of training with the knights or helping Gaius make his usual rounds. And the boy seemed to always be tired. Maybe he slept for a good part of his day?

Gwen seemed to read his thoughts, saying, "You know, ever since that druid girl escaped in Camelot, Merlin was happy."

"What are you suggesting?" Arthur asked.

"Well, think about it," Gwen said, "Freya and Merlin were in love, and I remember talking to Merlin about love and what girls like-"

"Wait, was that why he had a dress in his hands? He was giving it to this Freya girl?"

"I suppose," Gwen shrugged, "he asked me if I liked it. It was pretty, but that isn't the point. That week, the druid girl had escaped, and then you fought the Bestat monster, remember?" Percival recalled the memory as if it were yesterday. He and the knights were frantically trying to avoid the beast, and Merlin had seemed as cautious as ever, if not more so. And then, when it came time for the feast, Merlin had disappeared.

"I remember," Percival found himself chiming in, "Merlin seemed down after that night."

"Aye," Gwaine agreed, "Whenever I was with him, we would visit the lake. Seems like his favorite place." Percival cast his glance back at the lake, at MErlin's small frame in the distance. Why would he keep going to the lake?

"So he took up swimming, that's great!" Arthur grinned, "About time he did something with himself-"

"Arthur, wait," Gwen's voice was clipped, "Do you remember what happened to Merlin that night?"

It took a few minutes, as Arthur pondered the thought, finally saying, "He got a scratch on his arm. Gaius said it would take about an hour to heal, something like that." Gwen cast her eyes down, playing with the hem of her sleeve. Arthur blinked, "Guinevere? What's that got to do with Merlin's scar? Certainly he got it after the battle- we _all_ have scars-"

"Merlin said he was going to protect her, Arthur," Gwen's shoulders twitched, "He said he was with her every night when she was in Camelot." There was a beat, and she reluctantly added, "He said Freya understood him in a way we can't."

Arthur's face fell, although it wasn't in sadness, no. He was trying to make sense of the situation, trying to piece the story together. Percival could see the storm brewing in Arthur's blue eyes. None of it made sense.

"And there's more, Arthur," Gwen was whispering now, casting a worried glance at the river, where their friend sat washing dishes, "he said she was afraid of the dark. That she hated it. And it's also why your food was disappearing. He was giving it to her."

"I knew he was stealing my food!" Arthur snapped, pushing himself up as he yelled, "Merlin!"

"Arthur, no!" Gwen tried to pull him back down, tugging on his hand, "I really don't think-"

"You know, I'm sure he's gone for a nice swim instead of washing dishes," Arthur reasoned, "Why don't we join him?" Percival stole a peek at Gwen's scared expression. Obviously Arthur didn't understand the meaning of her words.

Neither did the other knights, as they whooped and hollered, upsetting the picnic blanket to run after the prince.

"Last one in owes me ale!" GWaine shouted, racing ahead. Percival reluctantly followed, and he could see Merlin's form growing bigger as they came closer, how he was stooped over his work, how he was most likely ignoring the knights with those large ears of his. Percival couldn't help but notice the small flinch as Gwaine and Arthur practically pushed each other in, a large splash managing to reach Merlin.

"Hey!" Merlin whined, "I'm trying to clean your dishes, thank you very much!"

"Like anything's ever stopped you before," Arthur laughed, his clothes pooling around his arms and torso as he swam to the shore. "Come on, take a break." Merlin scowled.

"That's all you complain I ever do," Merlin drawled, packing the dishes carefully into the basket, avoid the water altogether.

Percival wasn't sure where this dark, moody boy was coming from, but it looked as if he had snapped altogether at Arthur's next jibe:

"Oh, come on! Are you scared Freya might come out and see you? It's alright, we all know you're practically a twig."

The dishes shattered against the rocks as the basket slipped from Merlin's hands. Eyes brimming with a newfound fury, Merlin whirled to face Gwen, who had just reached the lakebed, standing by Percival's side. She touched the knight's arm lightly as she looked at Merlin, who looked prepared to blow steam out of his ears.

"I told you not to say anything," he said bitterly.

"I'm sorry, Merlin, I just thought-"

"Thought what? That Arthur would be all hunky-dory with everything?" Merlin's voice rose with each word, his face tinged pink, "That'd he suddenly care about anything other than his own prattish ways?"

Oi. This didn't seem good. Percival glanced down at Guinevere, her face plastered with guilt as she let Merlin blow off steam. He started pacing- a nervous habit Percival noticed after meeting Merlin the first day he was knighted. Merlin's hands didn't seemed to know what to do with themselves, fingers twitching as he clenched as unclenched his fists.

"Merlin!" Arthur ordered, "Don't yell at her. All she did was tell us who Freya was. Not a big deal." Merlin's eyes became saucers, bugging out of their sockets.

That didn't seem good, Percival decided. Not good at all.

"Not a big deal?! Arthur, you of all people should care!" Merlin spluttered, his hands shaking as he reached for his neckerchief, untying the piece of red cloth to twist it nervously in his hands. Merlin's shirt seemed rather large, as the cloth was damp, fabric stretching to hang loosely on his tiny frame. Percival wasn't at all sure he heard MErlin's next words correctly, though.

"What do you mean by that? I'm fairly certian the life of a servant would not be so intersting to me." Arthur let himself float beside Gwaine in the water, who was now floating lazily on his back, although Percival wasn't fooled. Gwaine was always on alert when it came to Merlin. The servant was, after all, Gwaine's only and best friend.

So when Merlin was upset, he made sure to listen, find clues as to the reason why he was so sad.

"Oh, well, that makes me feel _so much better_ , since Gwen basically told you I was harboring a fugitive druid girl in Camelot!" Merlin cried sarcastically. Gwaine was no longer floating, and Percival could hear Gwen's small gasp.

"Oh, dear god…." she mumbled, a new batch of tears dotting the corners of her eyes.

"You were _what!?_ " Arthur slammed a fist into the water, upsetting Gwaine's careful float. The knight flailed slightly as he tried gaining a good footing on the shore bed, his clothes clinging to his muscular frame like a second skin as he approached Merlin.

"Mate, I think you need to calm down-" he tried, reaching a hand out to Merlin, surprised when it was rebuked.

"I was helping Freya get out of Camelot," Merlin repeated, "it was only fair to her!"

"Fair?" Arthur was practically sneering, " _Fair?!_ Merlin, she had magic! Magic is evil-!"

"Freya wasn't evil!" Merlin screamed, "She was _kind_ and _beautiful_ and she didn't want to kill those people! She _hated_ it!" A silence bore down on the group as they watched Merlin struggle to regain his senses. Percival could see that this was too much for him. Merlin was shaking violently, his scarf having fallen from his grasp.

"Merlin-" Arthur warned, his voice dangerously low. Percival shivered. He knew that tone. That was the tone Arthur use when he was disappointed. Arthur used that tone when he was angry if a patrol went wrong. Arthur used that tone when he was prepared to strike down an enemy.

And now he was using that tone towards Merlin.

"She was cursed, Arthur," Merlin was crying now, "it wasn't her fault-"

It was then that Percival realized that the Bestat- the creature Merlin had been so cautious in helping defeat that night in the citadel- was Freya. The Bestat was Freya, and Merlin was in love with Freya. He felt himself pale, his stomach burning as his lunch threatened to come up for air.

Oh God.

Merlin could be so _stupid_ sometimes. He knew that. But he didn't think the boy could be that stupid, to break Camelot law right under the prince's nose.

"But we never found a girl, we only found a beast-" Percival could see the wheels turning in Arthur's brain, clicking into place. "You mean to say that Freya was the druid girl, and that the druid girl turned into that _monster-_ "

" _She wasn't a monster, you prat!_ " Merlin clutched his arm, " _I loved her!_ "

"No-" Arthur was drawing himself out of the water now, clothes dripping as he approached his servant. Well, his former servant, if Arthur managed to get past the whole thing.

Judging by how he lunged at the boy, though, Percival didn't think that would be any time soon. Percival handed Gwen t her brother as he jumped to help Gwaine reprimand the two, the bigger knight wrenching the prince's arms behind his back. Arthur's skin was cool against Percival's own. Merlin nearly tripped as Gwaine grabbed him by the shoulders, steering him to lean against a nearby tree.

"Sire, you need to calm down," Percival was curt as he spoke into Arthur's ear, the prince trying (and failing) to wrench himself free of his grasp, "Please, Sire."

"Arthur-" Gwen tried feebly to grab his flailing hands, help in any way, but to no avail. Arthur was livid, and it certainly showed. Percival saw the veins bulging in his neck, worried one might pop. Hopefully not an important one. It would be bad to have a dead prince on their hands, now would it? Especially in such a situation. Elyan had taken his sister and guided her over to Leon, who could only watch in confusion the two friends go at each other.

"Are you hiding her here, Merlin?" Arthur yelled, "Are you?!"

From what Percival could see (past Gwaine shielding the boy with his own body, pinning him down by his wrists), Merlin was shaking his head, failing to find the words to yell back. Gwaine was having a difficult time trying to get the kid to calm down, to stop crying. He even heard him trying to bribe him with ale, but knowing Gwaine, that was a promise he couldn't keep, as the man really did love his ale as much as his own mother.

"Arthur, yelling won't solve anything," Percival tried to speak again, his words sounding like crisp leaves. His arms were starting to hurt from holding Arthur back for so long, and he didn't really like having to do so.

"Where is she, Merlin?!" Arthur either didn't hear Percival, or was purposefully ignoring him, "Where?!"

"You _ass!_ " Merlin shouted back, " _She's dead!_ "


	3. Chapter 3

Arthur was sure Merlin broke just from yelling out those cursed words.

 _She's dead_.

He could see it now, the pain. The agony Merlin hid from them as he went each day like it was totally normal. For a minute, Arthur had to sympathize with the boy. He knew what it was like, to lose one you loved. Of course, his father didn't seem to compare to Merlin's Freya, and Arthur's chest burned as he tried to catch his breath. Merlin seemed to crumple into Gwaine's arms, his own tiny body heaving as he regained what little breath he could.

She was dead.

And the only way, Arthur realized, Merlin could remember her was through a scar. A kiss, if you would, that would forever be branded on Merlin's skin of the short time they had together. Everyone was silent now, saved for Merlin's ragged sobs as he finally let his emotions take over. Arthur carefully pried Percival's hands from his arms, silently ambling towards his servant. Gwaine was giving him a wary look, he could feel the drunkard's eyes boring into him, but he ignored it.

She was dead. And from the sound of it, it was Arthur's fault.

"M-Merlin, I'm sorry…." Arthur tried, his words seizing in his throat.

"I think it's a little too late for that, _Sire_ ," Merlin nearly spit out the word, "so let's just forget this whole thing and I can finish the dishes and you can all go for your swim-" Arthur jumped back as Merlin hastily pushed himself up, grabbing the dishes and broken shards. The knights were silent, eyeing their prince.

Arthur knew what they wanted. They wanted him to say something, anything to make this right. To bring back the happy Merlin they all knew. But what could he say? He had already tried apologizing, but his efforts were rebuffed.

If Merlin wasn't going to take his apology, then Arthur wouldn't bother trying to give it.

"Alright, well, just don't cut yourself on the glass," Arthur called, keeping his voice level, cool. Merlin was a servant, and he was a prince. There was no way a prince would apologize to a servant. It just wasn't how things were done- and besides, it really was Merlin's fault. Getting involved with a druid girl? Really?

"Idiot," Arthur murmured, shaking his head at Merlin's receding back, shocked by Gwaine and Leon's disapproving smirks. "What? I'm the prince. He should know better than to have done such a thing."

"Doesn't matter, mate," Gwaine shuddered, "prince or not, Merlin is grieving as best he can. You blowing up just because the girl happened to be a druid is unacceptable, no matter who the outburst is from." Arthur blew raspberries at their backs as they turned to go, leaving him with only Elyan, Gwen and Percival for company.

"Arthur," Gwen's voice was a hushed whisper, and she entwined her fingers in his, "I think you should apologize to Merli-"

"And why should I? He was involved with sorcery, Guinevere!"

Arthur felt his heart skip a beat at the dreaded word. He hated even thinking about it, but when you're prince of a kingdom that banned magic, it was difficult. Every other day seemed to be an attack from bandits, and if it wasn't a bandit who was out for his blood, it was a sorcerer. And the sorcerers he met were never nice people.

And then Merlin, his manservant, went and fell in love with a druid! And a man-eating beast, no less! It made him wonder why he kept Merlin on staff, aside from the cheery banter and terrible jokes as his breakfast was served late and slightly cold each morning. No, Arthur decided, that sorcery was evil. And if it had managed to reach Merlin, then he must be enchanted.

It was the only explanation as to why he would be so upset over the death of a druid, anyway.

"Arthur, _please_ ," Gwen pleaded, "he loved her. The least you could do is apologize." Arthur swung their arms as they began walking back towards the picnic, Percival hovering nearby as Elyan and leon decided to go on ahead.

"I'm the prince, Gwen, if anyone is apologizing, it should be him."

Gwen uttered possibly one of the nastiest swears the prince had ever heard anyone use in his life. It was so vile coming from her pretty lips that his skin broke out in gooseflesh, he felt the prickle of shock run up his spine.

"What was that?!" Arthur demanded, eyebrows flying up his forehead in astonishment.

"Honestly, Arthur, I love you, you know I do," Gwen assured him, "But Merlin is my friend. He has done so much for us both, and I really think you're being unfair towards him-"

"He was _consorting_ with a _druid_ or did you _not_ hear me?!" Arthur repeated, his throat sore as he yelled once more. Honestly, what _was_ it with his friends today? Did they all decide to sit in a circle and share what secrets might ruin the prince's life?

"That doesn't matter, Arthur," Gwen admonished gruffly, crossing her arms, "just please reconsider."

Arthur rolled his eyes. As if he would do such a thing. How many times did one have to be told that magic was evil?

"He was angry with you too, you know," Arthur reminded her, and he cracked a grin at her blush, the way her curls shook as she mumbled to herself, trying to reassure herself that it would all be okay, that Merlin would hopefully forgive her….

"That was entirely my fault, I shouldn't have said anything," Gwen agreed, "but do think about it? For me?" Arthur was fairly sure she was trying to guilt him into it, with her big brown eyes and pouting mouth. Sighing, the prince nodded. Of course, he would do it for Gwen- and _only_ Gwen.

"Alright," Arthur agreed, "but if I get attacked by her vengeful spirit or something-"

"Arthur! Just go!" Gwen punched his arm, Arthur covering the wince with a jerk of his shoulders. The pain laced up his arm and into the crook of his shoulder as he made his way back to the camp to find the knights sitting together, across from Merlin. The boy had his head down, his mouth moving to indescribable words. If that made sense. He couldn't hear Merlin speaking, just sitting there, his eyes closed.

Weird.

Arthur cleared his throat, "So if we're done playing tea party, Mer _lin_ , would you care to tell me what's upsetting you?"

Merlin's head snapped up and Arthur took a step back, mouth agape. The anger in his eyes, the mere… _pain_ alone was enough to chill anyone to the bone. It was so uncharacteristically hostile, Arthur couldn't believe he was capable of such a thing. Rolling his shoulders, Merlin cocked his head.

"But whatever gave you such an idea?" he feigned innocence, and Arthur thought he could hear Gwaine squeal, scuttling behind Percival as if in need of protection. _Priss_ , Arthur thought, turning his attention back to Merlin. His face captured the perfect picture of innocence, but his eyes were storm clouds, volatile and deep.

"Come on, Merlin, don't be such a-"

" _Girl_?" Merlin finished for him, "An idiot?"

Arthur blew a raspberry. This was not going as well as Guinevere lead him to believe, "Merlin sto-"

"Or," Merlin raised a finger towards the sky, adding, "your favorite, a _girl's petticoat_?"

Arthur groaned, hands clenching into fists. He knew Merlin was upset. He knew that by this reaction, it really wasn't helping anyone. But what else was he to do? Sit and listen? Yes, yes you are, his thought tried reprimanding him, but Arthur ignored that, his anger swirling inside his chest, bubbling up his throat.

And then he said it.

"If you aren't going to let me listen, I may as well toss you in the dungeons for treason, then! Is that what you want?!"

The look of anger and betrayal was immediately replaced with one of sadness, Merlin smiling softly, eyes downcast. Hints of tears dotted the servant's eyes, and Arthur mentally kicked himself.

"Never mind, Merlin, just…" Arthur trailed, unable to find the suitable words. Merlin shook his head, his chin catching his chest. Arthur thought it was weird, seeing Merlin without his neckerchief. But then he remembered the boy had dropped it by the lake. Hopefully Gwen or one of the knights had picked it up.

"Well," Merlin sighed, his breath wobbling, "if I die in the dungeons, I'll be able to see Freya again. Maybe Balinor too."

Arthur screwed up his face- was he talking about the Dragonlord? That didn't make sense!

"Why are you acting like this?" Arthur sighed, plopping himself down next to Gwaine, who simply looked at Merlin with unease, brow furrowed in confusion.

"Sorry," Merlin replied, "let's just go back, yeah?"

Gwen finally joined them, crossing her arms when she saw the group huddled like newborn puppies, unaware of their surroundings. Shaking her head, she squeezed Merlin's shoulder, wrapping him in a hug as she sat down.

"I'm sorry, Merlin," she announced, giving Arthur a pointed glare, "I was out of turn when I told them about Freya. Can you forgive me?"

Merlin cracked a smile and Arthur rolled his eyes. Of course he would forgive Gwen. Everyone liked her, and she was probably the nicest person to walk the Earth, always looking out for others wellbeing and things like that. A proper human being.

But what did that make him? He struggled to notice the opinions and feelings of others, lest it have some pertinence to himself. In a way, Arthur knew he was like his father, somewhat uncaring unless he was able to reap benefits.

"Of course, Gwen," Merlin was quiet as he returned the hug, and he could feel Percival bring a stare into his back.

This was not going to be easy, Arthur decided as he coughed into his fist.


End file.
